I was sitting in a window seat, the landing gear was being lowered, and the sadness started pouring over me in waves.
The plane was just arriving in Omaha Nebraska where I knew my mom would be waiting for me. Ready to take me home again.
We hadn’t seen each other for a year while I had been in Germany and as the tears started streaming over my cheeks, I became horrified.
I couldn’t stop my sadness. I couldn’t hide it. I couldn’t pretend it away. And it felt so wrong. I should be happy to see my mom again.
I should have missed her.
But instead, I was feeling so much grief that my year as an exchange student in Germany had come to an end and I was back in Iowa.
The friendships I had made, the fun I had had, the freedom I had experienced, all over.
Not only did I feel horribly inconsiderate and heartless, but I don’t think I had ever let my mom see me cry. So this was a double-whammy of shame.
I was talking to a friend this week and asked him how he completed his commitments with the people he coaches.
I realized that since I have started working with my healing clients for three months or six months, there is also an end now for me to consider.
A woman I was working with every other week had had her final session come and go without me even realizing that our time together was over. I was dumbfounded by this and was looking for some tips.
Instead of giving me a simple answer, he asked me a question.
“How do you want the completion to look”.
Bam. The tears came.
I was shocked. This conversation seemed harmless. Straightforward. But instead it was like a bomb had gone off.
I didn’t understand why this memory of my return from Germany was connected to me rounding off a period of healing work with someone.
“You were heartbroken,” he said softly.
He asked, “So what would happen if you were to express to the people you work with how you really feel when your time together comes to a closure?”
And again the tears started blurring my sight as I choked out, “Then they would see how much I care, and see my heartbreak.”
“So instead of allowing someone to see this, you pretend the end isn’t there, and dance over the ending like it didn’t happen?”
“Yep,” I nod. And started laugh/snorting through my tears.
“And what if you could allow yourself to feel that heartbreak? And you didn’t have to push it away? And what if you could allow the people you work with, the people with whom you’ve created the most intimate of connections, the opportunity to feel how much you care about them?”
I stared at him dumbfounded. Still not quite able to process that this could be possible.
He said, “Robin, you’re the clearing for love for the people around you. It was just coming out a bit sideways.”
Again I started laughing through the snot and the tears. “You’re right.” I said.
-Yes, showing up to give a healing is my “job”. I guess I could call it my “profession”, my “work”. But it’s also me showing up with all my heart, connecting to another human in the fullest expression of myself. One vulnerable soul with another.
And when I'm not giving sessions, I am diligently peeling off each “protective layer” of myself to be able to show up as the fullest expression of love possible.
Are you ready for some peeling of your own heart’s protective layers?
How can I serve you? Are you waiting for someone to help you remember who you really are?
Each time I meet someone new, and begin a healing trajectory with someone, I am willing to fall in love, and in turn feel that heartbreak. It’s what makes life worth living, wouldn’t you agree?
For those of you wanting to book a private session, May is fully booked, however there are 6 sessions still available for June, so be quick! Here's the link: https://www.myyogahealing.com/first-time-together
And if you’ve worked with me already, and are ready for more support, more love, more time together to shift the things that matter to you. I have two more places for 3 month or 6 month packages starting in June, message me for details.
And for those of you who want to get some love and healing sooner, I am holding an online group Breathwork event on Sunday May 24th at 18:00 Amsterdam time, 12:00 EST, 10:00am PST
You can book your spot here: https://www.myyogahealing.com/grouponlinebreathwork
ps. If you were wondering who that amazing friend of mine is, find him on Facebook here: Allan Santos And the amazing photographer who takes most of my photos, find her website here: www.indrasilar.com
Sending you love. I hope to hear from you soon. Robin